A significant minority of mothers live daily lives, separated from their children and I am one of them. I have become very aware that my story although a nightmare is not unique...

Tuesday, 27 June 2017

Domestic violence/intimate bullying

Does any of this sound familiar?

  • Name calling and teasing
  • Taunting
  • Mocking
  • Making offensive comments; verbally, by text message, by email or by social networking sites
  • Malicious gossip
  • Stealing
  • Physical violence
  • Making threats
  • Coercion
  • Isolation from group activities
Actually it is not about domestic abuse , but from an article about the bullying of children at School.

I am sure most victims will relate to some if not all of the methods of bullying. So would it be easier, to explain and more importantly victims to be understood if for instance the term intimate bullying was used rather than domestic violence?
After all bullying is more easily understood, most  people will have either been an unwilling victim  or witnessed it at school or in the workplace. Some of course would have been the bully themselves.

Victim blaming is rife in schools, not matter how many anti bullying policies, they may have. With quite often the victim having to move schools and the bully remaining to choose yet another victim. The same happens in the workplace .

Then the isolation, the sense of helplessness and the crippling shame would be more blooming obvious. Perhaps it could be understood why she just doesn't leave, but is stuck like a rabbit mesmerised by the headlights of an oncoming  car.

Perhaps they could see beyond the perpetrator's facade , see how he works the crowd, to isolate the victim, just as the school bully does. Understand how his character flaws led him to the need to dominate in the first place.

It is  time to stop bullies, bullying wherever it occurs,acing the blame where it lays,  including in intimate relationships.


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