A significant minority of mothers live daily lives, separated from their children and I am one of them. I have become very aware that my story although a nightmare is not unique...

Tuesday, 15 August 2017

Summer Hols

Children everywhere, parents getting stressed, broke and wishing them back to school. What would I give for just a couple of hours with my child.
I had to travel by bus today, there was a bright 3 year old in front, chatting away to her Grandma. On the way back, there was an older child who had evidently spent the morning getting her school uniform.

All the time I am surrounded by children, it triggers memories of mine. Memories now tainted by separation. It is so difficult not to feel an overwhelming sadness, part of the grief cycle. My mum said she used to look out for little blond boys. My brother is now as bald as a coot, but the trauma lingers.  She has not only been estranged from her son, but is now facing the same situation with her granddaughters thanks to my controlling ex and those who have helped him.

What helps
Remember your not the only mum going through this trauma. It may feel that you are , but 14%of single parents are dads. Some of course will be agreed arrangements or as a result of bereavement, but a considerable percentage may be such as myself  and my mum, forced estrangement.
The holidays are not forever, they are already over in Scotland , just try and take each day at a time.
Be kind to yourself, we are our worst critics, you have gone through something beyond horrendous, cut yourself some slack.
Reach out for help, MatchMothers run a helpline staffed by volunteer mum's apart from their children.

Love to all separated mums everywhere x


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